Tuesday, October 4, 2011 | 7:33 AM

I finally tendered. Been dreaming and hoping for this day to come and I can't even count the number of times I have been hoping that all of us will tender together and boss will be in shit. Yet when the time actually comes it was kinda hard to do it plus it's easier to rem why we wanted to leave when she is being a pain in the ass rather than being a nicey person. I honestly do feel kinda bad though, it's like I burst her major happy bubble that she finally managed to fight for something to make our lives easier even though it's not increase in pay. Guess just got to rem all those shit times, those last min stuff, lack of personal time, can't take leave, all her mind changing stuff.
Now all that is left is sam ham and I really pray and hope there is some sort of way we can do to make things fall in place for her and let her have a chance to go to estee and get out of this short changing place.

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Saturday, April 9, 2011 | 8:14 AM

At the airport

After all these years I still surprise myself at how much feelings I still have at the airport. Was waiting for him as his flight land before 1030 so I thought of giving him a surprise pick up. While waiting I still feel the excitement of seeing him, the the adrenaline rush of going to the right terminal and right gate, the anxious waiting and wondering if he will spot me...it's a place where I can see and feel all different types of emotions and when I sit there waiting and people watch..and it still kinda overwhelm me after all these years. Like the group of ah beng waiting for one of their gf, the funny prank they play, the little boy waiting for his dad who stop throwing tantrum once he spot his daddy and break into a big smile and cheering go daddy go to hasten his father in coming out..so amusing to look at, so sweet and lovely scene.

I rem when I first work at the airport I felt so lost because it's like too full of people, too overwhelming at times. Yet till date it remains one of my fav places precisely because how it is always exciting, so full of life and bursting with so many on going things. How interesting it is that from now on it will still be very much a part of my life other than all the working and studying memories, now I will have other new memories to add to the collection

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Thursday, February 3, 2011 | 7:48 AM

Unhappy

I feel so tired but just cannot sleep..dunno why but just feel very unhappy and down..totally emo mode.. It's not only about the fact that he has to work and won't be around during the new year, I think it's more to the whole getting married thing is really starting to settle in. It just start to really hit me that once married, you hot to so called adopt the other family and have to really do things on behalf of your husband when he is not around and that doesn't just include his parents alone..it's really the whole extended family thing already like be it you like
It or not your are bounded by responsibility and right now I feel really stressed out. It brings everything to a whole new level of stress and not just about wedding detail stress or Reno stress, wedding and house stuff will be a one off thing but life after that is a whole lifetime of alot of responsibilities..and all of it is so foreign to me and I don't even know if I'm up to it and can i live up to ppl's expectations especially when I'm the kind who hate ppl telling me what to do, like oh your house must do this and that you must faster have kids blah blah blah it's all damn irritating to me.. I feel so old right now and I don't want to, I don't want to grow old and den die and leave everything behind..I wish I can just stop time or age and den continue to do other stuff without getting old old

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011 | 1:57 AM

Thoughts

Even though CNY is nearing but I dont feel any real festive feel/excitments and stuff... probaly this happens as you get older because so much more things to do as compare to when you were young. As kids we just wait and yearn for the day to collect hong bao and try to sneak as much food as possible since this is a rare time where you can eat so much nonsense and wont get any scoldings from parents. Right now, you just cant really be bothered to eat all the cookies and stuff and money wise? its just so- so because the real excitment now is to catch up with friends and relatives

Probably this time round I dont feel good because there is something stuck in side and it cant be gottn out so it feels damn....unfinished. Is friendship only worth this much or does this happens because a real friendship wasnt really there in the first place as the initial part was just fun fun fun? As much as I dont want to get bothered by it or think about it, but really, you just cannot help it but think and think....it just sux to the max.........

And everything is the start already....he is officially flying and although i've said before and i know i can have my own personal time and friends when he is not around, the thought and feeling that he isnt around is also a weird new feeling to experience, i guess the impact hits especially when its festive season or when he cannot go gatherings and stuff?

new feelings, new hurt, new thought for the new year

Friday, January 21, 2011 | 2:28 AM

Ramblings

I feel kinda sad...my top choice of flat gone just like that already..although I Noe it's a very small chance that we will be able to get the loft but at the same time I just can't help but feel sian..Haiz I hope what I c is correct an that I will be able to get my second choice but right now I honestly fun really dare think about it already..

There was something else that I wanted to blog about but at this point I'm just too sian to even rem already :(

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Tuesday, November 30, 2010 | 12:42 AM

Reflections

Just got to know another of my closer group of frens is preg n due in June..I seen the both of them together since jc all e way through uni and was at their wedding as a jie mei and now they going to be parents soon.. Damn happy for them cas I know they been trying for one for some time already n I know they will be great parents Cas ever since I know them they are Like the model couple.. Everyone is moving up the next stage in life and it's hard not to admit that I'm turning old. Even though in about a year time I will be getting married and going to the next stage in life also but it just feels very different like everything is surreal. Like something I imagine out from a book or like looking through a looking glass tt tells me what's happening next but once I look away everything goes back a few years

Many things to think of to reflect upon, to ponder over......

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Monday, November 22, 2010 | 6:47 PM

Mood: Depressed

I feel.......totally depressed. Maybe its not enuough sleep, maybe its the stress from knowing I have so much to study and not enough time to do so, maybe its all the work stuff and money stuff....i dont really know now....i guess its a mixture of everything.......

Honestly now I dont know if I can make it here or not or even as a marketer......i just feel like i cannot come up with all those many many interesting ideas Yanny can come up with and run it successfully also....and its like yes i haven done this before but this is her first job too and she can...or was it cas she had at least near 1 year of guidance from a proper marketing manager which I dont or is it like what Candy said Im such a practical person that I cant be imaginative and stuff? I just find it so hard to think of stuff, its precisely I cant come up with ideas that's why I take such a long time........maybe i should go back to sales, more practical and straightforward?