Thursday, February 3, 2011 | 7:48 AM

Unhappy

I feel so tired but just cannot sleep..dunno why but just feel very unhappy and down..totally emo mode.. It's not only about the fact that he has to work and won't be around during the new year, I think it's more to the whole getting married thing is really starting to settle in. It just start to really hit me that once married, you hot to so called adopt the other family and have to really do things on behalf of your husband when he is not around and that doesn't just include his parents alone..it's really the whole extended family thing already like be it you like
It or not your are bounded by responsibility and right now I feel really stressed out. It brings everything to a whole new level of stress and not just about wedding detail stress or Reno stress, wedding and house stuff will be a one off thing but life after that is a whole lifetime of alot of responsibilities..and all of it is so foreign to me and I don't even know if I'm up to it and can i live up to ppl's expectations especially when I'm the kind who hate ppl telling me what to do, like oh your house must do this and that you must faster have kids blah blah blah it's all damn irritating to me.. I feel so old right now and I don't want to, I don't want to grow old and den die and leave everything behind..I wish I can just stop time or age and den continue to do other stuff without getting old old

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