Tuesday, February 27, 2007 | 5:18 AM

Thinkingz.......

Finally blogger stop rejecting the stuff i type....been wanting to blog for ages but everytime when i feel like blogging i got no time and when i actually have time to blog, the stupid thing cant work...anwayz i think i need time to slowly sort out my thots and look through them one by one...too many things have occurred since my last blog....too many changes going on around me...sometimes the changes are so drastic that i dont know if i should embrace or flee from them...sometimes i think im a stupid selfish bitch trying to make one ton of bombs explode and sometimes i think im like some hungry ghost trying to gobble down 2 plates of food at the same time and making myself suffer from major indigestion...

I think im a living contridiction...all gers do i guess...sometimes i get damn irritated with myself like i know i should or should do something but i aint doing it....sometimes i feel stress and suffocated by work and feel totally no life, yet at times I love my work...but at the end of the day i just wan to have a good peaceful rest...

That day i met shooting star...i rem how it used to brighten up my days and lit up my darkest sky with the little bling bling light it gives off....yet, as all shooting starts, it goes as fast as it came, a while stocks last thing...i almost forgot about it, forgot about all those times gazing at it... was kinda taken aback when the star came by again....totally unexpected....it got me to wonder did it feel weird to fly by again after so long of MIA???izzit that easy to just forgot everything about the shared path?

I guess thats the reality of life....people come and go, leaving different kinds of imprints and impact on your life....like for the star, it walk me through my darkest moment and suddenly left when i kinda got stronger....probably it belong to the group of people who are 'helpers', someone to see you through your downs and go on to support other people once the task with you is done....who are the 'stay-ers' in life den? Are they people who u choose to keep or those who choose to stay? I dont know which group do either of them belong to, duno who is the helper or stay-er?But i do know that it will become even worst then the star...

This particular sentance hit me hard cas i really find it meaningful, something to ponder about - take away all the caring and nice, what do you like about him? and so what do others see in me to make me likable?