Tuesday, February 27, 2007 | 5:18 AM

Thinkingz.......

Finally blogger stop rejecting the stuff i type....been wanting to blog for ages but everytime when i feel like blogging i got no time and when i actually have time to blog, the stupid thing cant work...anwayz i think i need time to slowly sort out my thots and look through them one by one...too many things have occurred since my last blog....too many changes going on around me...sometimes the changes are so drastic that i dont know if i should embrace or flee from them...sometimes i think im a stupid selfish bitch trying to make one ton of bombs explode and sometimes i think im like some hungry ghost trying to gobble down 2 plates of food at the same time and making myself suffer from major indigestion...

I think im a living contridiction...all gers do i guess...sometimes i get damn irritated with myself like i know i should or should do something but i aint doing it....sometimes i feel stress and suffocated by work and feel totally no life, yet at times I love my work...but at the end of the day i just wan to have a good peaceful rest...

That day i met shooting star...i rem how it used to brighten up my days and lit up my darkest sky with the little bling bling light it gives off....yet, as all shooting starts, it goes as fast as it came, a while stocks last thing...i almost forgot about it, forgot about all those times gazing at it... was kinda taken aback when the star came by again....totally unexpected....it got me to wonder did it feel weird to fly by again after so long of MIA???izzit that easy to just forgot everything about the shared path?

I guess thats the reality of life....people come and go, leaving different kinds of imprints and impact on your life....like for the star, it walk me through my darkest moment and suddenly left when i kinda got stronger....probably it belong to the group of people who are 'helpers', someone to see you through your downs and go on to support other people once the task with you is done....who are the 'stay-ers' in life den? Are they people who u choose to keep or those who choose to stay? I dont know which group do either of them belong to, duno who is the helper or stay-er?But i do know that it will become even worst then the star...

This particular sentance hit me hard cas i really find it meaningful, something to ponder about - take away all the caring and nice, what do you like about him? and so what do others see in me to make me likable?

Monday, February 12, 2007 | 8:29 AM

Brithday

Had a real shitty day @ work and i almost want to die under all that stress....haiz...had to rush down to counters after a super long day at work....was rather sian too cas someone fly kite for my so called bday dinner with dodo n bernie....cant help but feel sian even though there was really a legitimate reason...anyway he tried to redeem himself by leaving something sweet at my doorstep, something that no one has actually done for me before...haha...well...even though those chocos aint my fav, the very act of making the effort to squeeze a smile outa me and cheer me up is really sweet and worth lots more than those stuff in the bottle itself...thanks zeppy! but i still wan a big fat treat so dont you even try worming yourself outa it ya? oh my darling dodo got me this pair of cute custome made earrings plus this stress reliever thingy that really made me laugh....i seriously think i will need it liao lo with the amount of work piled up! thanks dodo darling! was really happy with my custom made shoes too! it kinda feels so interesting to know that i own the one and only pair of that particular shoes in Singapore plus even if its out in stores they wont b selling white ones! hehe...thanks to zep and derrick that i got thoes shoes!! pls the custom made card and tag, i think this year bday i really got quite a few custom made things sia...thats like so cool....hohoh......was really super happy with the watch sabbie and gang gave me...it was really such a nice surprise man....with the little cake and titus watch....so sweet of them! really very cheered up by them that day...................

Am really glad to have one bunch of such people to bring me laughter and cheer and it really warms my heart by those actions of these sweet people....even people like mervin, junior, alan, melvin, ted came and wish me, stg that wasnt expected.....oh not forgetting kai wee too who actually called juz to wish me and gave me one ton of bday song cas he knew i wasnt celebrating..one really need people like this in your life to brighten up your days....and to zai rong and shikin....you 2 really made my day too with your wishes! *hugz*

Monday, February 5, 2007 | 8:04 AM

Sick

Had fever and down with flu since Sat but only went to see doc on Sun cas really bo pian..i cant possibly skip work for 2 days w/o mc rite? anyway when i finally had the energy to drag myself out of bed to go to the doc, the stupid place was close....i didn know it was halfday on sundays... and its like by the time i cycle to elias to see doc i was already feeling pretty wozzy....felt super weak and head spinning so really felt damn shit when the bloody place wasnt open! Felt really pathetic cas its like im sick and there wasnt anyone with me at that point of time...did contemplated if i should ask him about the 24hr doc at his hse but decided to go tamp instead... maybe its cos my head was spinning or maybe i was just careless...whatever it is, i kinda lost control of the bicycle and went off track onto the grass...dont know what happen excatly also but somehow when i tried to swerve it back to the path i suddenly collided with the macdonald delivery bike and i just fell over with the bicycle on top of me...it was when i realised i actually somehow rip off the chains on the bicycle that i just cant take it anymore...just felt so shitty about the whole thing and just cant help but broke down...probably was feeling really vulnerable at that time i guess....well...he came down and accompany me to the doc...thanks ya? that helps alot...even though i always make fun of you and laugh at you like mad, i seriously appreaciate the way you have been around for me all these while and im also sorry for messing up your life...

he pissed and upset me with those heartless crude remarks too and somehow it always made me feel terrible...i still haven reach the stage where whatever he said has NIL effect on me...i guess when that happens then i will noe i finally and truely get over everything...everything that has happened.....................