Tuesday, December 12, 2006 | 3:12 AM

I Am Unhappy

I am unhappy...super duper unhappy and moody...hearing it coming from other people makes it even worst...even others are feeling indignant for me...I dont think I have much perserverance left...Im tired...weary...tired of waiting and hoping and what I only get back is disappointment...it sux even more when he just ' slap' me in the face and say Im always irritating him...can you actually for once look at the reasons for the problem/actions instead of just plainly looking at the symptoms? There are reasons for every action...if you think Im always irriating you why dont you do something to recify it like telling me about it instead of leaving me clueless and wondering why Im always at the receving end of your temper...What I lack now is courage, courage to break free, courage to step out of the comfort zone and into the unknown, courage to embrace the unfamilarity and determination to force and propel myself forward and move on with life....guess what my dodo, sian ming, rando...etc said is true after all...that I deserved better and there are many better guys out there...that I should go and date around and dont restrict myself so fast...Like what I've been brutally hit after hanging around more with friends recently...Friends care and are more concern about me then him...Friends were the once who shared my joy, my anxieties and comfort me and give me assurance when I was feeling down and not him....and its not that he dont know Im feeling down...I just dont see any form of actions at all....I guess to him maybe Im not even worth a friend...

On another note, after talking with someone last night, it suddenly hit me hard....as in what am I doing? What does my actions says?My intention was only to have fun and enjoy myself while stocks last but izzit really the case? Does my plain intentions really seem simple and innocent to others as it is to me?